I recently had a conversation with my little sister that raised this question and it brought me back to a blog I wrote in February of 2013 titled “Bitches.” Of course in a short span of 3 years things have shifted for me and being a “bitch” isn’t something that ultimately makes me happy or feels good so I ask you too – is it worth it for you to be a “bitch?”
I went back and re-read my “Bitches” blog and although I still agree with my then view 110% today, I think that as a woman – a feminine woman as God created me to be – being a bitch isn’t respected, attractive, valued and there is absolutely no self-satisfaction behind it. Although you may think it is pleasing, it really is not. All it does is create hate within, yep – hate! You are using your purpose given energy as a negative approach for protection. As a result you are giving away your power to the person(s) you are being a “bitch” to, you are not behaving as your true authentic self, and the worst part is that there is absolutely no realness behind it. Instead you are masquerading an increasingly amount of self-built anger, bitterness, hate and sadness within that is burying your joy!
Let’s put this act of being a “bitch” into perspective, and we already know you are a “bitch” because you have created yourself to be this way from your experiences and circumstances (I speak for myself as well here.) So, another human being acts or behaves in a way that is displeasing to you which immediately fires up the wall of protection and instantly puts you in “bitch” mode. This means the words or actions of another individual are affecting your response mechanisms. You are allowing the actions of another person to obstruct who you really are causing you to stress and fight. Did you know that stressing causes tension and built-up tension (yes, built-up, we know you are not a ONCE-in-a-while “bitch”) causes many negative health effects? Acting outside your natural born nature is bad – unhealthy – for your mind, body and soul!
There are better ways to handle these situations and one great way is to create a boundary. Know their place but most importantly know yours! Understand that you cannot make a person behave the way you want them to. You may be in the right all the time and it could be very valid but you still cannot change people.
Take back your power! Carry on! It’s not the end of the world and I hate to break it to you but people are NOT going to act, behave, treat you, talk to you, etc. the way YOU want them to. Stop being a bitch, it ain’t cute on you (or US) and you my dear (WE) are way better than that!
Love you <3
You said it how it is i <3 this
I believe every woman has a bitch inside of her but not everyone has control of her bitch. My inner bitch is alive and present but she doesn’t control me…I control her.
Great read
Wow, very true on all levels. Men can also benefit from this!
I loved it…
Although i am a guy i totally get it.
Love it!! So true on so many levels. The hardest part is recognizing that you (we) are a bitch! If you see it in yourself and choose not to give it energy, then you are winning, even though sometimes it feels like you are not! Stay Strong, love yourself. Follower for life, MR!!
Hey, Mirtha! Thanks for the reminder on “bitch mode!” I will strive to allow no bitches – nor any high flying witches! – to push my B button! And ohhhhh I LOVE your logo!!
Love this n before i read this i explained this very point to my baby daddy. I will not allow him to make me into the bitch i use to b. But in other words “kill them with kindness”…
Very articulated written, I personally think that when life hurts us we self medicate by putting up these walls but are we blocking people out or are we imprisoning ourselves?